Many men often seek a woman's viewpoint on their relationships - and online many men will ask GirlShrink:) Lately, I have been talking to men who come with the same complaint, concern, cry for help-- please help, my wife won't have sex with me.
So of course I can give a more definitive answer when I'm speaking to someone one on one, but here on The Cheating Wife, I can offer some general direction.
First - Houston, there's a problem! If your wife - not you - but your wife is the one enforcing the celibacy in your marriage then you have every right to be concerned. Sexual intimacy is a normal part of marriage and should be something that a couple looks forward to sharing. When it is one-sided like this - it can be frustrating to say the least. But what this is usually about is a breakdown in communication somewhere.
Second - If you didn't have a really good sex life to begin with, then you really shouldn't really be surprised that it has dwindled down to, well uh, nothing. That means there was an issue way before the sex stopped. Either your levels of interest were always mismatched or she doesn't like it. And maybe not with you - or more likely not at all.
Third - Did she have a baby? There are serious hormonal fluctuations when a woman carries and then delivers a baby. She may be unbalanced and therefore lacks desire. Or she may have gained weight or acquired sagging breasts that she is uncomfortable with. Having a baby can change your body.
Fourth - Have you been together a long time? Maybe she doesn't feel that you find her desirable anymore. Maybe she feels as if the sex is all a robotic "fix" that you need but not necessarily desire from her.
Fifth - Has the marriage taken a turn? Have you been arguing a lot? Shutting down a lot? Avoiding each other? A sexless marriage is always a symptom of something bigger or something else going on. Or worse - boredom.
Do I need to go on?
Finally, if your wife refuses to have sex with you, it doesn't mean that she is having sex with someone else. But it does mean that there is a serious problem that needs to be addressed so that neither of you choose that path out of frustration and feelings of rejection. Sit her down and talk about it tonight:)
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--GirlShrink
http://www.girlshrink.com
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